Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Who Am I Now?

If I am not depressed, then who am I now? And if you are depressed, then what is your goal- what is your vision? What is the HOPE that you are striving toward? You must fix your vision on something, and then not quit or give up. You must CONTINUE to want to get well.

Below is my vision. The goal I aim toward, the thing I keep in mind.

Does my life look like this? Not yet. But when I feel discouraged, or like I want to quit at the race of life, I think about this woman. I do things to get myself inspired- I have my own pep rally. If you do want to be well, you will have to do that a lot. Maybe no one else will do it for you.

Proverbs 31 is my vision, because it is the word of God (of course) but also because many women didn't have a woman in their lives that they could model themselves after. Maybe they come from a broken home, or had an abusive parent. Maybe depression or other sicknesses run in their families, and the vision they have on the inside of being "just like so and so" isn't a good one. Well the woman in this scripture is praised by her husband, and loved by her children. She is appreciated so much by God that she is mentioned in scripture.

For those of you who have heard dozens of studies on proverbs 31 already, hold on. We will surely examine it from a different light!

Proverbs 31:10-31 (New King James Version)

The Virtuous Wife
10 Who can find a virtuous wife? So here we begin. I must be a woman of virtue. But remember the New Testament story of Jesus healing the woman with the issue of blood? It said that virtue went out from Him. Jesus was full of virtue because he spent time with the Father. If I fail to do that one thing first, I will only end up a scrapbooking business woman who yells at her kids. If I am to be this woman of virtue, there is no other way: I must spend time with the Father. For her worth is far above rubies. 11 The heart of her husband safely trusts her; So he will have no lack of gain. 12 She does him good and not evil All the days of her life. 13 She seeks wool and flax, And willingly works with her hands. 14 She is like the merchant ships, She brings her food from afar. 15 She also rises while it is yet night, And provides food for her household, And a portion for her maidservants. This woman is organized. This is not just saying that she lays out a snack for her maidservants, it is saying she has already assigned their daily work. Are you just letting life happen to you? Does life have you by the tail? Do you wake up each day in a panic, or do you lay in bed under the opression of what you can't do? This woman put some forethought into things. She isn't surprised when tomorrow arrives. Yes, I'm being tough, but being soft has kept us in our beds for too long!! 16 She considers a field and buys it; From her profits she plants a vineyard. 17 She girds herself with strength, And strengthens her arms. I'm believing that this woman gets enough exercise. I have had a hard time with that one before: starting, then stopping, being dedicated, then realizing that I haven't made time for this. But that is why I keep the vision in my mind. I took out some good books on walking and running, and I inspire myself. If I do nothing, I still won't get the exercising done. If I do it inconsistently, I am still training my brain, and my body that there is exercising to be done. I will not quit, and I will not give up! 18 She perceives that her merchandise is good, And her lamp does not go out by night. She is a wise and intelligent shopper- more on that another day. 19 She stretches out her hands to the distaff, And her hand holds the spindle. She moves on to the next thing. She can see that there is work to be done, and she is not spending her work time in front of the TV. 20 She extends her hand to the poor, Yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy. This woman is not selfish. Depression wants you to think that you can't, can't, can't. But this woman looked outside of herself, and focused enough on someone else to give. You really can do that. Even in your own household, there are people who need you to look outside of yourself and GIVE. If you will believe God enough to give, He will make sure that you reap a harvest off of what you gave. You can actually sow your way right out of depression. 21 She is not afraid of snow for her household, For all her household is clothed with scarlet. Again, she is not taken by surprise. She is a woman of understanding. This brings us back to our first point: you can't be a woman of understanding without the word of God! The word of God changes your brain. Remeber how I said that I lost intelligence during the depression? Well it was waking up every morning and reading from the new testament that triggered the renewing of my mind and brain. The word of God has increased my intelligence, and my understanding. Yay! 22 She makes tapestry for herself; Her clothing is fine linen and purple. Get up! Get dressed! Brush your hair! Yes, it is worth it- God loves you and He cares about how you feel. If you will do that one thing every morning, it can be a seed to all the rest. Get up, get dressed, and have tea with God. Read your bible, and talk to Him. This is what gets you spiritually dressed for the day. If your kids are young, and you feel like you can't possibly get out of bed before they do- find a time at nap time, or before bed. Or do it when they are watching veggietales. Just make sure that each day, you have spiritually gotten dressed. 23 Her husband is known in the gates, Please, let us build our husbands up. Let us see only the good in them. Let us develope a right inner vision about who they are to God. When he sits among the elders of the land. 24 She makes linen garments and sells them, And supplies sashes for the merchants. 25 Strength and honor are her clothing; She is not trusting in anything but the power of God. She shall rejoice in time to come. It may mean some small suffering now, but this woman is eternally minded. You were not made for this earth. This earth is the battleground: the prequel to the ETERNAL. If you will live in relationship with Jesus now, and make that your one thing that is important, you WILL rejoice in time to come. Now, and in heaven forever. 26 She opens her mouth with wisdom, And on her tongue is the law of kindness. 27 She watches over the ways of her household, And does not eat the bread of idleness. 28 Her children rise up and call her blessed; Her husband also, and he praises her: 29 “ Many daughters have done well, But you excel them all.” 30 Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised. 31 Give her of the fruit of her hands, And let her own works praise her in the gates.

So this is the vision. Let's develope it. Maybe for you this is just the seed of a vision, and you will need to plant many more. But YES, there is a vision, there is a hope! There is a reason not to give up and quit, and that reason is YOU. God has a purpose for YOU, and there is nothing else like it.