So through the prayer counselling I recieved a truly miraculous healing. I wasn't feeling depressed; I wasn't having any migraines; but I was still taking the antidepressants every day. I decided that I was truly well, and if that was the case, didn't need my medication. So I stopped taking it. BUT. People say that antidepressants aren't addictive. I would agree with that except, I think they are dependance forming. You probably know many people who have been on antidepressants for years! Sure, the depression is under control, and they are functioning well, but they can't stop taking the antidepressants. If they do, they begin to have "symptoms" again.
So I began to wean myself off of the antidepressants, and I began to have withdrawal symptoms. This is why I mention that people say they are not addictive, but I was certainly having trouble getting off of them, and I was feeling "down" again! This confused me, because I knew that I'd been healed (of course, if you'd been nearly suicidal for two years, and suddenly felt miraculously happy, you'd notice it!) but if I was healed, why couldn't I get off of the antidepressants?
I decided to keep taking them for awhile, until I felt sure what to do.
During that time, I was reading the New Testament every morning, and going to church every week. I was spending a lot of time with Lydia, who had prayed for me and was now mentoring me, and I was beginning to take back my life. I was now doing again the things that I'd been totally unable to do when depressed. I was enjoying my life, and my family again.
After about three months, I had an inclination on the inside of me, that now was the time to stop taking the antidepressants. This time was different: the first time, I had wanted to quit them, almost as if I would do it in honor of God who healed me. But at that time I couldn't: I couldn't do it on my own. But the second time, I knew that it was God telling me to stop taking them, and with that telling, there was also a power to carry it out. I had grown a lot spiritually during those three months, and now I was ready to go on without the drugs.
This time when I stopped taking them, I expected the withdrawal symptoms, but I felt I was ready, and could tough it out no matter what. I quit cold turkey this time, and...
I sweat profusely for about a week!
But I didn't experience any withdrawal! I think my body was cleansing itself of the chemicals through the intense sweating, and after a week, it was all gone, and I was FREE!
Your story may be different, but one thing I must highlight is that I was paying attention to God, and His word, and when He said it was time, I was ready, and I obeyed what He said without fear.
I believe that along with hearing Him, there comes an ability to carry out what He has commanded. Remember when Jesus went out to the boat in the storm, to help his disciples? He walked on the water to them, in the middle of the night. His disciples saw Him, and were terrified, but He reassured them, and said "Don't be afraid, it's Me!" When Peter (one of Jesus' very closest companions) heard this, he said something strange: he said- "Lord, if it is You, tell me to come to you on the water!"
Do you notice how he says: TELL me to come to you. He knew that if Jesus didn't say it, he couldn't do it, and he knew that what Jesus SAID, he was able to carry it out!
When my children were all still very young, I began to have problems with fatigue. At about 7pm each night I was flaked out on the couch, and feeling like I couldn't move.
One day, I felt particularly worse. It was a very strange feeling, and a very sick feeling. I lay on my bed, with the world spinning, and I cried out to God: "Lord, why do I feel so sick!?"
The answer came clearly and quietly on the inside of me: You are eating too much sugar.
That simple small phrase surprised me. I didn't think I'd been having that much! But I knew that I'd heard from God, and I decided to go for a month without sugar, to see what kind of a difference it would make.
It was a world of difference for me. I had tried in the past to stop eating sugar, because I knew that it wasn't that good for people, but there was always a chocolate bar calling me from the cupboard, or a coke that would just taste so good right about now, and after all, I was just having one piece of cake, one cookie after lunch!
But again, this time was different. This time, I had heard God, and this time when I quit, there was no desire for sugar. At all. I felt so good, so happy that month. I had energy all day long, and all evening, and I was much kinder to my children. I had been too grouchy and fed up of a mama before, but now I was seeing my children in a whole different light. FREEDOM. Freedom, by my doing what God said.
So are you addicted to something? Maybe something you are ashamed of, and you don't want anyone else to know about? Let me assure you, Jesus knows, and He is not angry. If you will listen to Him, and read His word, you will find that He is always speaking, and it will be easier and easier for you to hear His voice.
Don't be afraid to listen for Him, thinking that if you open up yourself you are just as likely to pick up any voice as His, because He said that if you ask for bread, He wouldn't give you a stone. He hears you all the time, and it's not scary for Him! Will you hear Him, and not be afraid? He is Love. Love is a good Person to hear from.